Comprehending| Understanding Men
Men and women differ in considerable ways and this affects our relationships in significant ways. As ladies we often expect the men in our lives to behave in similar ways to our girlfriends or to women in general and this becomes a source of great conflict. Comprehending|Understanding men is critical for a woman who desires to manage and find fulfillment in her relationships with men. So what are the critical points of difference between the sexes?
1. Fulfillment! Men find their accomplishment in what they do and that is why a man’s career is so crucial to him. If a man’s career is not going well then he tends to suffer immensely. The success of his career is often tied in with how good he feels about himself (his self esteem). A woman on the other hand finds gratification in her relationships and though this does not negate her drive for her career. She does not equate her career with who she is.
2. Same sex friendships. Men tend to be competitive in their relationships with other men. They hang out together around sporting events or discussions about their achievements or toys etc. They do not discuss intimate details with other men. Women on the other hand have a few good friends that they can discuss all their intimate issues with. They may compete with other women but competition is not central to their relationships.
3. Dealing with stress. Men and women deal with stress in different ways. Men retreat into them-selves when faced with a crisis. They disengage and go into what some people call ‘their cave’s’. They continue to go through the motions of life but they have disengaged. And they suffer in silence. Women on the other hand want to talk about their crisis. Sometimes they simply want to be heard and if they do retreat it is to cry and get the bad feelings out of the way.
4. Demonstration of love. Men and women show love in different ways. A man who loves a woman will demonstrate his love by taking care of her but may have problems verbalizing what he feels. If he goes out each day and brings home the bacon (so to speak) then he expects his woman to understand that he is doing that because he loves her. That is his way of demonstrating love. A woman on the other hand speaks her heart while also doing special things for her man and she wants him to tell her that he loves her and to demonstrate his love in caring ways.
5. Problems in relationships. Men and women react differently to the problems in relationships. Because women are more relational they tend to have the skills and motivation to improve on their relationships whilst men tend to be clueless in this department. Once a man has captured a woman’s heart he thinks that the job is done and he can go back to life. He does not know how to deal with problems and will often ignore them hoping that they will go away and if they don’t he tends to disengage and focus on the areas in his life where he is performing well (like his career).
As you can see men differ in significant ways from women and comprehending|understanding men requires that you acknowledge these differences and learn how to best deal with them.