3 Mindsets for Dating Online Successfully
Online dating has come of age and success stories abound wherever we look. Happy couples that met and dated online and whose relationships are solid and satisfying. Some couples are from different parts of the country or from the same region or from other parts of the world. There is diversity in the online forums or social networks or dating sites that they met on but they all met online. As you try your hand at online dating here are some behavior traits that are essential to dating online successfully.
1. Decide specifically what you want. Before you start the whole online dating process you must be very clear in your mind the kind of partner and relationship you want. Does race or age or income or education level or faith or geographic location matter to you? Do you want a romantic relationship that can lead to a commitment in the future or do you want a short term relationship as you decide on where your life is heading or do you just want a one-off encounter with someone to lift your spirits (or emotions)? In as much detail as you can make a list of what it is that you want in terms of a partner and a relationship. The reality of any online activity is that there is information overload and choice; and if you don’t know what it is that you want then you will waste a lot of your time flirting from one site to another with no real results.
a. Wisely choose your dating site or forum or social network. What you chose will depend on what it is that you want and what you think will deliver the kind of results that you want. You can of course use more than one medium as each will have its strengths and its weaknesses. And each will require a different input in terms of costs and time; and will also deliver different results. Deciding which to use can be an intimidating task as there are dozens or hundreds of forums, social networks and dating sites. And all of them do not give the same result. Diligent and comparative research will be essential if you are serious about dating online seriously. Choose what works for you in terms of what you want to spend, the skill level required to do it effectively and the amount of confidence it arouses in you. If it makes you uncomfortable or wary then steer clear. Think of the one that you choose in terms of; is this the kind of place where the person I want to hook up with will hang out at?
2. Be truthful. Dating online successfully means that you let your online contacts know exactly what it is that you are looking for so that you don’t waste your time and theirs on something that doesn’t meet both of your needs. If you only want to date people from your own part of the world then make that clear. If you are curious about other cultures but have no real interest in dating a person from there then be straight up about that. At the initial stages you may be tempted to date people who you know can never meet what you are looking for but resist that temptation as you don’t want them to get attached to you when you know that this doesn’t work for you. Like any relationship if you are honest then you are more likely to get what you are looking for. As your online relationship develops and you get to know your online partner better there may be things about them that may start to make you feel ill at ease or uneasy and you need to decide if these things are deal breakers for you. Never assume that these feelings of disquiet will go away and you either make peace with them as part of your relationship or you simply let the person go. It is kinder to both of you if the relationship breaks up earlier than latter when emotional attachments have formed.
3. Tread wisely. Dating online successfully requires careful treading on your part as all the information you have about your partner will come from your partner. But now with multiple social media sites you can do some check up on them but you must remember that you are taking the word of someone you have only seen on photographs that they have posted and you are deprived of seeing their body language as a way of authenticating what they are typing to you. Ensure that what they are writing to you is consistent with who they say they are and what they do. Be on the lookout for controlling or intrusive behavior or things about them that seem off to you. An online relationship should have a naturally progression and if things happen to quickly or too slowly then take beware as all may not be as it seems.
Putting put into practice these 3 mindsets will ensure that you have an online dating experience that is successfully. An online dating experience can be immensely rewarding if you meet the right person at the right time and these 3 traits will help you sieve out the people and the attitudes that would make it ineffective.