Husband Not In Love

What To Do when Your Husband is Not In Love With You

Has your husband said that he is not in love with you anymore? He may have said it in passing or in a heated or stressed out situation and you’re not sure what to do. You are tempted to dismiss it since it was either said in a casual manner or in the heat of the moment or this is simply something that you do not want to deal with and you earnestly just want to wish it away.  BUT wisdom dictates you should not dismiss this outright as “where there is smoke there is usually a fire of some kind”.  Examine your relationship and his behavior and see if you can detect if your husband has in fact been unhappy in the relationship, has he lost interest in being intimate with you?.., is the house or the children the only things that you have in common?…, when was the last time you talked about things that concern just the two of you…or is all your communication about the tasks that each has to do?

Click Here For The Guide To Become What Husbands Can’t Resist

If your husband has said that he is not in love with you, you need to pay attention as this is a vital indicator that he has drifted from you emotionally and he is either already involved with someone else, is thinking of getting  involved with someone else or is vulnerable/open to new relationship possibilities. The first battle line for you when your husband in not in love with you, is to make a decision on whether you want to fight for the relationship and to win him back to or to throw in the towel and let whoever wants him to take him and keep him….Is he worth fighting for?

Once you decide that you want to win back his drifting emotions you must realize that it will be a battle and that it will take time to get things as you want them. Remember it took time for him to drift from you and you will need time to anchor him back to you. So patience will have to be your new best friend.

If your husband is not in love with you because of unresolved conflict (e.g. He never forgave you for an affair, or lying to him etc) then you may both need to seek professional counseling so that he can move off from that. Forgiveness is not usually a single act (even though we would like it to be) but is a constant, daily process until he is able to let go of all the hurt and disappointment your offense created and he can begin to relate to you without constantly holding your wrong doing against you. Is he willing to seek help so that he can see beyond what you did (or did not do) and work at loving you again even though you are imperfect? If he is unwilling to work on forgiving you then your relationship may be irredeemable.

Look back and remember the things (actions) that you used to do…with…for…and to your husband when he was still emotionally connected to you and start doing them again. He needs to feel liked, appreciated, loved and respected so that you can get emotionally reconnected. You know him best and you know what he needs to feel these different things. Be creative but don’t lose sight of the goal. It will be easier if you can both work on the marriage but since the only person you can actually change is yourself then if he is not interested you can still do your part. The relationship is only over when you both stop trying.

Specific things that you can do when your husband is not in love with you include being genuinely interested in his issues, ensure that you communicate often(without driving him even further away), try and have fun with him, laugh with him, praise and compliment him….verbally appreciate him for the things that you like about him, give him small surprises and gifts etc. but also remember to take care of yourself (grooming, health, hygiene, self confidence etc). You need to be the best you that you can be so that you can give from your reservoirs of strength. These things work best if you both do them to each other but if he is not willing you can still do them by yourself and hopefully with time he will begin to reciprocate.

Like all of us your husband wants friendship, support, understanding and validation and if he is not getting it from you then he will eventually get it from someone else.

Click Here For The Guide To Become What Husbands Can’t Resist