What Causes Attraction?
Attraction is crucial as it’s the starting point for most relationships and the glue that holds the two of you once you are in a relationship. So what causes attraction? Why are you attracted to certain people and not to others? Have you ever wondered why it is that you seem to attract or be attracted to a certain type of man? There seems to be certain commonalities in the men that you date….either they are all a certain height and body type or they exhibit the same types of behaviors. So what causes attraction….what causes you to home-in on certain types and not others?
Well you can blame this on a combination of factors namely; human mating behavior (and you thought that was only for animals but despite our polish and sophistication that is still part of our make-up), your personality and interests; and social and cultural factors.
1} Programming! One of the central things that causes attraction is human mating behavior that wires you so that you are attracted to the person with whom you will be able to most successfully mate with (ugh…I know but its true). This is where health plays a critical factor as you are programmed to being attracted to those with whom you can have healthy children. For ladies this would be the man with the healthiest genes and we tend to judge this by proportion and symmetry. We are programmed to value highly those with proportional and symmetrical faces as well as men that are tall. And I suspect this is where the romantic standard popularized by romantic novels of “a tall, dark and handsome man” came from. Luckily for us this factor has now been toned down by other factors as the ability to have healthy children and provide for them is now more a function of income then simple biological factors but that primal prompting still gets us attracted to certain types of men.
2} Like causes attraction of like!Your personality and interests affect who you are attracted to as people from similar social-economic backgrounds like religion (or lack of it); education, political orientation, economic bracket and culture tend to be attracted to each other. You tend to be attracted to people who share your religious and political beliefs, who are as educated as you and who have been brought up in a culture that is similar to yours as they are more agreeable to what your perception of things is and thus to you. You will also be attracted to those with similar personality traits such as amicability, meticulousness, sociability, emotional stability and openness to new experiences.
3} Behavior type!The way you adjust your behavior “to look” before other people also affects who you are initially attracted to. People who closely monitor their behavior and change it to fit different situations are more attracted to those who are involved in similar activities to them while those who are more cross-situationaly consistent are attracted more to the values of a person than their activity.
4} Ethnicity or socialization causes attraction! Yes I know that sounds so archaic but lets be real. If you grew up in a society that placed a high value on muscular men then chances are that you will be attracted to men with big muscles although with increased communication extreme ethnic based values have been minimized.